Sassafrass

As Kate gets closer to her 4th Birthday, the Sass Factor has increased dramatically! God help us when she is actually a teenager because right now she is 3 going on 16! She is full of humor and wit, and I have to give her credit for being a sharp little person. However, sometimes the cheek is challenging! :)

Sometimes, though, the cheek is just funny. Yesterday when I dropped Kate off at school, she ran over to the Craft Table in the classroom and began coloring away. She was all business, sitting up straight and tall in her brown dress, furiously focusing on staying in the lines. I was on the other side of the classroom, talking to Kate's teacher, Mrs. Rogers. All of a sudden, Kate called from clear across the room, "Excuse me Mrs. Rogers, but you and I BOTH have BROWN on today!!!!!" (Insert look of amazement from Kate). Mrs. Rogers warmly reinforced her observation with a kind "We sure do, Kate! How about that?!" Kate, with a knowing look on her face, sort of nodded at Mrs. Rogers and, in a sing-song voice, called across the room "Brown IS the new Black, you know!!!!!!!"

Are you kidding me? Where does she get this stuff? Mrs. Rogers and I almost lost it.

So that is an example of sweet sass. Last night, I was subjected to some serious sass. And it went a little something like this:

Scene: Kate's Bedroom. Jammies are on, and the bedtime ritual has begun. As I went to clear out some of the menagerie of stuffed animals from the bed, I grabbed her "softie blankie" and realized it was wet!

Maggie: (with blanket in hand) Kate! Why is your blankie all wet? Did you have an accident and not tell me?

Kate: (with full, open, honest eyes) No, Mom! I spitted on it!

Maggie: (puzzled) You SPIT on it? Did you spit up or throw up? What do you mean you spit on it?

Kate: (very matter of fact) No, I SPPPIIITTTEEED on it. With water from my sippy. I spitted on it.

Maggie: What?! You SPIT on your blankie? Kate! Why would you do that? Spitting is very naughty and gross.

Kate: For my pretend turtle! Turtles loooooove water. So turtle needed a lake! So I made a lake by when I spitted the water.

(Um, ok - so now we have a lengthy talk about the inappropriateness of spitting at all times - well, not all times, because as Kate points out, we spit out toothpaste when we brush our teeth. The bedtime ritual continues, with brief interruptions of whining because she cannot have her blankie. She does not grasp that it is her consequence from spitting. Frustrating. Lots of trying to be rational with a three year old ensues)

Skip to final straw....

Kate: (very frustrated by now after getting in trouble for spitting and throwing a tantrum about the temporary loss of her beloved blankie and then losing another stuffed animal as punishment for throwing a tantrum) Mommy, can I please have a glass of Fresh Cold Water? (She always asks for it this way)

Maggie: Well, now, Kate, I don't know about that! The last time you got a sippy of water at naptime, you spit it all out all over your room!

Kate: But MOoooooommmmyyyy, I am very thiiiiiirrrrssstyyyyyy.

Maggie: Well, do you think I should get some for you? I mean, I expected you to drink your water like a big girl the last time and instead of doing what I expected, you spit it everywhere!

Kate: (very huffy and totally sassafull - and I am not even kidding that she said this) WELL. I expected YOU to fix my doctor kit toy when you said you would FIVE TIMES and you STILL have not done it like I expected!!!!!!!

(OH. Ouch. Direct Hit. I literally had to turn around and leave the room because of the combination of trying to catch my patience and also so I did not totally crack up and laugh my butt off in front of her. Needless to say, more discussion occurred and things were all resolved, with no blankie, down one stuffed animal, a sip of water before bed as a compromise instead of a full cup and Kate fell asleep - exhausted by her attitude.)

I sort of melted down the stairs in exhaustion, fell into the arm chair and immediately dialed my parents:

Mom: Hello?

Maggie: Mom? I just want you and Dad to know that I am so sorry for being such a sass when I was a kid. Remember when I would talk back and you would say "May God give you one just like you!"? Well, He listened. I love you and I am really sorry for all the grief I caused! :)